MY GRANDMA GOT ALL A’S IN “ETIQUETTE” (YES THAT WAS AN ACTUAL CLASS IN HER HIGH SCHOOL) AND SHE TOLD ME, “DEAR,” SHE SAID,
“YOU NEVER CROSS YOUR LEGS, YOU CROSS YOUR ANKLES. BUT THE GREAT THING ABOUT YOU LIVING IN THIS GENERATION IS YOU DON’T HAVE TO FOLLOW MY GENERATION’S RULES. SIT THE WAY YOU WANT. IF SOMEONE LOOKS UP YOUR SKIRT, JUST TELL THEM YOUR AUNT MARY WILL KILL THEM.”
WHICH IS TRUE
MY AUNT MARY HAD A SWITCHBLADE IN A SPECIAL POCKET OF HER NIGHTGOWN UNTIL THE DAY SHE DIED
the moral of this story is
1. Sit the way you want.
2. My great aunt Mary was a fucking badass.
Aunt Mary is my new hero
Aunt Mary for president
Move aside Beyoncé, we have a new queen
Gather round children, whilst I tell you a little story.
So I was watching Fullmetal Alchemist with my roommate, when I got thirsty and decided what the hell, Ima get myself a Coke. So I went down to the vending machine on our floor and swiped my card and pressed the button to vend the Coke. Well, TWO cokes popped out.
I looked around, wondering if I was on one of those punk’d shows, and grabbed both bottles. Suddenly, a loud thrumming came from the machine, and lo and behold, 6 MORE COKES CAME OUT.
After checking my debit card statement, I found that I was only charged for ONE coke. Feeling giddy but slightly guilty, I nabbed all 8 bottles of coke and went back to my room. After telling my roommate what happened, she decided to go back to the coke machine with me and see if only the Cokes are affected.
She bought two Sprites, and what the fuck do ya know, she got those damn Sprites, AS WELL AS 11 FREE COKES.
This of course jammed the machine, and before I knew it, I was on my knees with my arm up the Coke machine, practically birthing these little fuckers. I even read off their names on their bottles as I handed them to my roommate. We also found a random Cherry Coke had popped out as well.
Behold our finished family. 19 cokes, 2 Sprites, and a Cherry Coke, all the result of a very overworked and confused Coke machine.
So my 13 y/o brother is on Xbox Live with his friends in the other room and the past 20 minutes I’ve heard him say
- Dude why do you use gay as an insult?
- You guys are fucking sexist, this is why I’m the only one of us who has a girlfriend
- Wow that wasn’t racist or anything
- No seriously gay does not mean stupid
PRAISE YOUR BROTHER
♥ Bixanna Week ♔ - Day 1: First kiss♥
This comic is dedicated to Carly - forgottenwhispersxo, my Bixanna queen because today is her birthday yee~ The story inspired by one of her amazing drabbles, but i tweaked it a bit so it’s kinda shorter ♥ Also sorry for the long post ( ≧Д≦) it’s pretty short so i just want a better look for it <3
I think I never posted this pic of me as Terezi, right? Oh well…
It’s kinda old too. But it’ll do while I’m editing the new pics of this cosplay!